The air was heavy, oppressive. Dark clouds rose above a steel horizon. The humid air made it hard to breathe. I took a shower that morning, but never dried off, still dripping. The clear ocean called to me, but a storm was coming. I could feel it in the quiet slowness. No one was in the water. Most of the locals were resting on mats in their fales. A Samoan home, or fale, is mostly built with bamboo and thatch, allowing maximum airflow. The air was not moving.

I watched them come, the dark clouds. The weight of wet-hot weather pushing, pushing down on my chest, holding me in place as I watched them grow, the clouds. I wanted to lie down and not move, sleep until the dark dream dispersed.

When the rains came, it was sudden, as if the ocean moved onshore. The sky was water. The air was liquid. The drops were waves, crashing to earth. The sound rose and swelled, drowning all other sounds.

Then, quiet.

The rains ceased. Clouds moved on, a pleasant breeze chasing them. The sun emerged from hiding. Children were the first to awaken, laughing and playing in streams winding back to sea. Steam rose above fluorescent flora. The world sparkled with brilliant color.

I witnessed a transformation of the island, Samoa, sea, sky, land. What I didn’t see, couldn’t see then, was the change Samoa wrought in my heart, not until I left that place.

I have not been back, yet, I long to return, to reconcile the man I am with man I hope to be, in paradise.

Namu’a Island, Samoa, just a short swim away.

Gentle breezes blow through swaying palms in Samoan paradise.

Rain and mountains make for spectacular waterfalls in Samoa.

A woman walks home on a rural Samoan road.

Waterfalls and rain are never far away on Upolu, Samoa.

Samoan wildflower

Samoan wildflower

Samoan wildflower

Giant electric green ferns thrive in the Samoan forests.

Samoan wildflower

Lush vegetation of many colors grow in the Samoan jungle.

Lush vegetation of many colors grow in the Samoan jungle.

Tapa cloth designs create a homey warmth in the Samoan fale.

Rain drops bead on leafy green vegetation in Samoa.

Beautiful flowers grow wild in Samoa.

Coconuts grow wild on Upolu, Samoa.

A boy watches warily, before taking a swim in the ocean.

Samoan boy.

Samoan children pose for the camera.

Brothers, Samoa.

Fresh from a swim in the sea, a Samoan boy leans against his house.

Talofa lava–a young boy waves in greeting.

Coral reefs protect palm-lined sandy beaches on the island of Upolu, Samoa.

Lava flows bear witness to Samoa’s violent geological past.

Drift wood and lava adorn many Samoan beaches.

Put your feet in Samoan sand. You may not want to take them out.

Bench seats.

Perhaps in need of paint, the wooden canoe is still seaworthy.

Samoan canoe.

Hand carved canoes point the way for Samoan mariners.

Samoan Canoes.

Palm trees protect aging canoes from the sun and rain.

Known for centuries as great mariners, Samoan still navigate the seas in wooden canoes.

Peaceful bay in Upolu, Samoa.

Lava Lavas and sandals are formal attire in Samoa.

Storm clouds bloom over Upolu Island, Samoa.

Trade winds push fluffy clouds over coconut palms in Samoa.

A calm before the storm settles over the bay on Upolu, Samoa.